Thursday, February 19, 2015 Dealing with Burnout

Creating YouTube content has definitely become a kind of weird addiction for me. The giddy feeling I get watching my channel stats increase, constantly trying to out-do myself (or others), and never wanting to let viewers down gave me a unique kind of 'rush' which in turn may have contributed to me feeling burnt out lately.

I would definitely label myself as a workaholic. I love when I have something to accomplish whether that be going to work, clean, make YouTube videos, or write a blog post. When I don't have something to accomplish, I feel lost or as if I'm somehow wasting time. However, because of this desire to constantly do something, I often don't give myself any downtime to recharge my batteries thus resulting in some serious burnout.

My typical weekday is leaving for work at 7:30AM and getting home from work between 6:00PM and 11:30PM depending on my work event schedule. If I'm lucky enough to get home at a decent hour, I will walk Dexter, make dinner, and then start creating YouTube content for as long as I can before passing out. My weekends (until the summer at least) are also not always free. Usually I have to work at least 1 of the 2 days (if not both) and on the days I actually do have off, I often have to run errands or see family/friends. On top of my heavy work schedule and YouTube channel, I am also in the process of buying a house which involves A LOT of scheduling, signing contracts, and constant communication with an attorney, Realtor, and loan company.

Needless to say, I've been exhausting myself lately.

I just wanted to update you all on my life outside of YouTube & explain why I can't always put out consistent content. It's not that I'm lazy AT ALL, it's just that I don't always have the free time to do it. It sucks having to compete with other YouTubers who can make videos full-time when you're not able to...

Lately I haven't been feeling healthy at all...just tired and stressed. I need a few days just to pull myself back together & force myself to relax a bit. I'm hoping to upload again some time this weekend when I find time to record/edit, I hope you guys all understand!

How do you deal with burnout? Any tips you can give me?

Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/francescarter/14104198231/in/photostream/

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 July BIRTHDAY Haul

As some of you may know, my Birthday was last week! I'm one of those people who LOVES getting to celebrate their Birthday, especially because it gives me an excuse to splurge a bit on some things for myself (not to mention gifts you get from others too)! So here is my July Birthday Haul:

Craft/Food Fair Goodies:

The weekend before my Birthday, my family & I signed up for a 5K race that ends at a huge craft/food fair. I was so excited to find handmade flower crowns at the fair at only $10 for 2! I walked away with a crown of small purple flowers & a crown of larger cream colored flowers. I feel like a hippie "flower child" whenever I wear them which makes me happy.

A few minutes later, I came across a handmade dream catcher necklace that for some reason I NEEDED. It is my new favorite necklace and I wear it as often as possible. I also ended up with 3 bags of "spices" that you can use to make dips. They are seriously delicious and made by Gourmet Creations. You can buy some of their dip mixes online, my favorites were: Portabella & Artichoke, Cucumber Dill, & Spinach Parmesan. Yum!

Sephora Online Order:

My favorite company Birthday freebie (besides getting a free Dunkin Donuts drink) is the Beauty Insider Sephora gift! For July, the gift was sponsored by Make Up For Ever (my personal favorite brand) and they gave out a sample of their mascara & lip stick. Coincidentally, the lipstick they gave is my favorite shade (Rouge Artist Natural N9)! I also got a free Stila liquid lipstick in red using a 4th of July coupon code. I also bought Sephora's black liquid eyeliner which is my everyday top lid liner, Clinique's All About Eyes Rich to help with my dark circles/puffy eyes, and Too Faced Natural Eyes eye shadow. I have used Urban Decay's Naked palette for so long now & loved it but the price point is a bit steep when I only use about 4 of the eyeshadows daily. Hoping I love the Too Faced Natural Eyes palette just as much so I can save $18 from now on!

Sirius XM Radio:

I always viewed radio as a dying medium, never really paying attention to it or caring to spend money on it. However, that was before I got my new job where I now have to commute to work an hour each way (often longer with traffic). Thus, my Mom figured out the perfect gift for me, a 1 year subscription to Sirius XM radio. It's only been a little over a week and I already LOVE it! I have comedy stations, decade stations, and talk radio stations. My commute to and from work goes by so much faster now & there's always something I can find to listen to!

Adorable Geekiness:

Last but not least, my Boyfriend decided to make me a gift for my Birthday this year! He also got me a few other things but I loved that he took the time and effort to find these Pokemon cards & other materials to put this together. He used all of my favorite Pokemon: Pikachu, every Eevee evolution, Mew, Raichu, & Vulpix. It's hanging over next to my computer desk now, and I love it in all of it's adorable geekiness!!

Sorry it's been so long between blog posts! I'm going to try & get better with posting at least one new post a week if not more. Thank you for all the birthday wishes too via Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, & Instagram! Was feeling the love from every possible Internet angle. <3

Wednesday, March 26, 2014 Just Say Yes...You'll Figure It Out Afterwards

Sorry for the delay in new blog posts but my life has been a bit hectic lately to say the least. I can't be too specific on the details, but last week I was given a job promotion to work for a high-profile executive at my current company. I was literally only given a 1 day notice of this position change and had to jump in with both feet last Monday.

Since then, my life has been a whirl-wind of new experiences, faces, and challenges in such a short amount of time. After my first day, I found myself running to the safety of a nearby bathroom and hyperventilating a bit...that's how nervous and stressed I was over this new opportunity. I kept thinking that I should have never said yes to taking this new job so fast, that I was completely unprepared and that my company had somehow made a mistake in choosing me as the best candidate for such a huge opportunity.

As the next couple of days passed, something weird happened. I quickly began to realize that I was able to handle this new position! Yes it was more stressful, yes it was very new, and yes I had never experienced a position like this one. However, none of those things seemed to matter once I let my skills, knowledge, and experience take over instead of my emotions. At the end of my first week, I coincidentally came across this quote by Tina Fey:

It resonated with me so much in relation to my new work life. When I first started, I mentally gave myself so many reasons for why I shouldn't say yes to this new position. Most of those reasons were formed from a simple fear of the unknown and change instead of forming from legitimate worries. Instead, I decided to say yes and figure it out afterwards. I now have a position that some people dream of having, I am taken much more seriously in my company then I was prior, and it is such an incredible career/networking opportunity!

Let this post & my experience serve as a reminder, don't ever not say yes to a new experience or opportunity simply because you're scared of the unknown...you will figure it out afterwards. <3

Thursday, March 6, 2014 My Technological Adventure & Evolution

Hello, My Name is Lauren and I'm a Tech Addict...

After years of struggling to find the perfect balance between my many gadgets, I think I have finally achieved it! As far back as I can remember, I was always a huge tech enthusiast. The obsession most likely stems from my father, brother, and cousin who would spend days working on computers as a hobby. I still remember the day my Dad first brought home his work laptop and showed us how to play a game on it. His laptop ran MS-DOS (that's how long ago this was) and we had to learn to type in a code that allowed us to run the game because there was no "desktop homepage" like everyone is used to having now. Instantly, I was hooked, and eventually over the years I moved onto playing more advanced games, building websites/blogs, having an AOL instant messenger obsession, and then of course came the rise in social media. Having one or two gadgets used to be normal when I began my technological adventure, but now having two to four is more common! You also have the added decision of choosing what brand suits you better.

My High School Years:

Yes, those are all flip phones that I actually owned at one time or another. I missed the non-flip, non-color, brick cellphone period as I wasn't allowed to get one until I started high school. My PC was mainly used for playing games (of course), researching & writing schoolwork, learning to create girly websites/blogs, and of course AOL. I knew nothing about Apple products back then.

My College Years:

As a high school graduation present, my parents wanted to get me my first laptop for college. After some researching, I was drawn to the first generation of Macbook Pros as I was going to college for graphic design & video production. I eventually upgraded my phone to Verizon's first Droid phone, and then eventually upgraded to an iPhone 3G at the end of my college years. I didn't have much time for PC gaming and mobility was my biggest necessity.

Recent College Graduate:

Sadly, I accidentally broke my precious Macbook Pro beyond repair thus causing me to upgrade to a newer version. I finally fell into the iPad craze as well and ended up with one of those along with a new iPhone. After a few months, I realized all I used my iPad for was to read and it was too heavy and bulky to carry it with me just for that. So, I eventually broke my Apple product cycle and got a Nook.

Right Now:

I now use each of my gadgets for a specific purpose instead of just using whichever one is nearest to me. I have finally gotten over my PC prejudice and realize it's actually BETTER to use for my hobbies. My Alienware PC is used for gaming, video editing, and Photoshop, my new Macbook Air comes with me to night school and is what I use at home to browse the web, my iPad Mini is my travel reading & gaming companion, and lastly my iPhone is my main communication device.

It's so fun looking out over your history of gadgets. It makes you realize what was once important to you (in a digital sense) compared to what is now. What are your go-to digital devices today? Does each have a specific purpose in your life?

Friday, February 14, 2014 LaurenzSide of Books: The Shining by Stephen King

Being that I have a love of writing, one would assume that I also have a love of reading. I don't feel complete on a day-to-day basis unless I have a new book loaded up on my iPad mini to read in my spare time. I felt compelled to write a post regarding the latest book I finished: Stephen King's "The Shining". Originally I had no interest in reading the well-known novel because I had already seen the film which (I thought) would ruin the story's mystery. However, when King recently released "Doctor Sleep", I figured I had to finally read "The Shining" in order to appreciate it's sequel. I am so glad that I did! I won't ruin the book for those of you who haven't read it, but it is very different from the film adaptation. It has even made it to my list of "all-time favorite reads" which only holds a handful of books that I've read over the years! The book had a completely different ending from the movie (which I actually enjoyed better), the characters were much more likable, and the explanation of 'shining' is much more in depth.

When I love a book, it's usually because there's a truth within it that resonates with me in my life. One quote in particular really hit me in a way I wasn't expecting:

"A lot of folks, they got a little bit of shine to them. They don't even know it. But they always seem to show up with flowers when their wives are feelin' blue with the monthlies, they do good on school tests they don't even study for, they got a good idea how people are feelin' as soon as they walk into a room. I come across fifty or sixty like that. But maybe only a dozen, countin' my Gram, that knew they was shinin'." - Stephen King, The Shining

In the novel, Dick Hallorann recited this line to Danny Torrance after revealing to him that other people have these special "senses" that he has. Although the line was describing a sort of "super power" that does not exist in the real world, I felt like he was describing me in a way. I have always felt that I understood people's feelings much more then anyone else. I can sense when complete strangers are sad even without them showing it, I often think of things that are going to happen before they do, and I even used to do well on tests I didn't study for! Maybe others feel the same, but I loved the fact that this 'sense' was portrayed a sort of 'power' in this novel.

I also think that I read "The Shining" at the perfect point in my life to truly appreciate it because I found that one of the story's themes was about feeling alone in the world. (As in the Torrance family being isolated from the outside world snowed in the Overlook) I myself don't necessarily feel alone in the world, but I do feel disconnected with it lately.

"Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty." - Stephen King, The Shining

"That's your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. Pull your act together and just go on." - Stephen King, The Shining

I feel like what people value in today's world don't match up with my own. It often makes me feel discouraged and even isolated at times. This book reminded me that I just need to keep my love alive in order to go on. My love of my family, friends, boyfriend, and dog. My love of music, art, and video creation. My love of emotions, laughter, and knowledge. As long as I keep those alive in my mind, the rest of the world won't ever be too tough for me to handle.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014 Snow Day Thoughts: The Little Things

Yesterday, I enjoyed my first snow day as an adult EVER! My corporate office was still open causing many of my coworkers to make the snowy excursion into work, but as soon as I opened my windows to the white wonderland outside I said to myself...nope. Taking into account the non-stop sliding of my front-wheel drive car on the poorly plowed roads, the inevitable delayed/rerouted trains, and eventually coming home to dig out my car from the un-plowed commuter parking lot, I decided the odds were in my favor to stay home for once. I have adventured through the elements before to get to work, but yesterday something told me not to for once.

While my idea of a perfect adult snow day was sitting warm and cozy inside my apartment, my dog's idea of a perfect snow day was being outside every few hours to run in it. After reluctantly getting up off my comfortable spot on the couch, throwing on my layers of snow gear, and wondering how much lazier my life could be if I wasn't a dog owner, we traveled outside to the accumulating winter wonderland. As soon as we got outside, excitement (which can also be viewed as mild insanity) came over my dog, and in that moment I once again remembered why you should appreciate the little things in life. It's such an odd experience to have a dog (or a child) remind you of all the simple things in this world that are worth taking the time to enjoy.

So many of us see snow as an annoyance, whereas a dog or a child would see it as an excitement. Dogs and children love the simple things that we often forget being so busy in life. My dog is a constant reminder to take the time to get away from my cyber world and enjoy the outdoors, to appreciate someone simply being around, and of course to appreciate a great meal when you get one! It's the beginning of February, and you may be sick of the snow by now and wishing it away. Instead, try to appreciate it's beauty when you can, realize how quiet it makes the rest of the world around you, and if you have a dog to throw a snowball around with...even better.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014 Things I Accomplished in 2013...

One great thing about Instagram (besides showing people how good I look & the awesome food I'm eating) is being able to easily look back in time. It's crazy realizing how much has changed and how much you've experienced over the course of only 365 days! So many people start their new year off with a new list of things to accomplish but often forget to look back over the previous year first to marvel in what they managed to achieve. Here are some of the things I accomplished in 2013, realized through Instagram photos:

Natural Beauty: At the end of this year, I'm happy to say that I've finally embraced some elements of my natural beauty instead of trying to change them. I brought back my natural hair color instead of continuing to dye it darker, I got rid of my side bangs that I've had for so long because I thought they made my forehead smaller, and I started letting my hair dry naturally wavy instead of spending hours straightening it. I've also lessened my everyday eye makeup to look more natural and brighter. It's amazing to feel sexy and beautiful whilst also gaining the confidence that it's all natural!

Nerdy Side: I've always been a bit nerdy in my interests but felt like I had to suppress that part of my personality in high school, college, and work to be taken seriously. However, this year I've finally stopped hiding it so much. Starting my YouTube channel definitely helped with expressing these nerdy interests more and having a boyfriend who shares in those same interests.

Veggies: I made a conscious effort to make more vegan and vegetarian food choices this year. I still had seafood from time to time and even the occasional chicken or turkey once or twice a month, but I'm so glad I've gotten strong enough to pick healthier and friendlier meals constantly.

Moved: After living in NYC for almost 5 years, I finally made the decision to move out. I still travel into the city everyday for work but I am so happy to be able to leave the craziness once 6pm rolls around. I never thought I would like living in New Jersey, but I'm really enjoying it so far! It's cheaper, cleaner, quieter, and there's grass! I will always love the city and cherish the years that I lived there, but I'm so glad I finally made the move!

Famous People: Every year I like to recount the famous people I met or saw. This year, I got to meet and take a picture with Hulk Hogan, saw Dane Cook do stand up, saw The Killers perform live (twice), and saw Joel McHale do stand up. Hopefully I'm not forgetting anyone!

Adventure: I had a few new adventures this year and one of my favorites was trying dog sledding for the first time. I was always on the fence about feeling bad for the dogs who pulled sleds, but the kennel we visited changed my mind. The dogs there seemed to be living the dream and got so excited when they were picked to be a part of the sled team. I had lots of other adventures this year but that's the one that sticks out most in my mind.

Party: I've learned the value of having a few close friends rather then a bunch of friends. I used to have a ton of friends who I went out with almost every night to drink and have a good time. Lately, I maybe do this once every two months and this year I learned to be okay with that. I used to be sad that I don't have as much time to go out with my friends because we're all busy, but now I cherish the times we do have together. This photo was taken at my good friend's birthday party where we had a mini college reunion with our friends and it was so much fun!

Love: Last but not least, my love grew even more for my boyfriend and puppy this year. We celebrated Dexter's first birthday in June but he's still a puppy to me! Through my late YouTube editing nights, my boyfriend has been super supportive and understanding which has made me appreciate him even more. Almost every fun memory I have of this year includes him and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014 My Resolutions for 2014

This post comes a little late into the New Year but then again, this blog didn't even exist until two days ago! I thought it would be empowering to write down some of my resolutions for 2014 as it may keep me on track to complete them. (Otherwise now you guys can judge me if I don't) My hope is that one year from now, when I'm once again celebrating the New Year, I can look back at this blog post and feel somewhat accomplished. If for some reason I finish any of these resolutions early, I will make sure to come back to this post to cross them out and update the goal:

1. Save More & Spend Less
2. Finish Decorating my Apartment
3. Hit 25,000 Subscribers on YouTube
4. Read at Least 7 Books
5. Finish the Story Idea for my Novel
6. Create my First Graphic Print
7. Do Something Relaxing at Least Once A Week
8. Be More Fashionable at Work
9. Carry my DSLR Camera More Often

Notice that none of my resolutions revolve around exercise or losing weight like the majority of people. Honestly, I never understood the obsession with having that be your New Years resolution. Most people spend their whole year wishing they were happier with their bodies so why waste your resolution on it too? I like to think of New Years resolutions as a time to think about your life in a way that you haven't all year and pick out ways to better yourself instead of just your physical features.

What were your resolutions for 2014? How are you doing with keeping them so far?

Monday, January 13, 2014 Why I YouTube: My First Year as a YouTuber

*This blog is not so much an extension of my YouTube channel but more so an extension of myself.*

Starting this blog I realize that the majority of my first readers will originate from the YouTube channel that I have poured all my time and energy into for the past year. It's because of this that I felt it was only fair to make the first post of my blog revolve around my YouTube experience so far. My hope is that this blog will eventually lead you to view me as not only a humorous gamer, but also as a creative individual who has way too many passions for one lifetime. It is where I will keep my thoughts, my advice, my interests, my personal experiences, and of course my YouTube adventures as well.

Why did you start a YouTube channel?

Many of you don't know this, but I've had the LaurenzSide YouTube channel since 2007. Back then, I put out a couple funny videos here and there that had no real point to them, as well as watched other YouTubers non-stop. I stopped uploading completely once I started college and the LaurenzSide channel became dormant for a very long time. Fast forward to the start of 2013 where I'd been working my first 9 to 5 office position and I started watching YouTubers again. Deciding that I needed a creative outlet from my job, I started back up my LaurenzSide channel but as a funny gaming channel.

Why did you choose the Gaming genre?
I actually came across PewDiePie one day while surfing YouTube and became obsessed. Before him I had never seen someone recording reactions to gameplay before and I thought it was fascinating. He eventually led me to find a whole community of YouTube gamers and I was hooked. However, I noticed that there weren't many funny girl gameplayers on YouTube and way more men in the YouTube gaming genre as a whole! Thus, LaurenzSide of Gaming was born and I've been trying to fill that gap ever since!

Why did you choose the username LaurenzSide?
When I first made the username in 2007, I somehow came up with the title "Lauren's Side of the Story" for my channel. However, when I went to make the username LaurensSide, I apparently thought the 2 "s" letters together looking odd and would be confusing to people. Thus, I changed the "s" to a "z" to differentiate between the two words and thus LaurenzSide was born!

What other YouTubers inspire you most?
PewDiePie was the first YouTuber to peak my interest in making gameplay videos so he is definitely still an inspiration. I'm also inspired by Philip Defranco, Markiplier, iHasCupquake, JennaMarbles, MelonieMac, and MittyMoxx.

Do people know about your channel IRL?
Only certain people who are close to me know about my YouTube channel. This only includes my immediate family, my boyfriend, and two of my close friends. I try very hard to keep it a secret from my coworkers, friends, and extended family as I'm nervous what they will think of it. Some people still don't understand the YouTube world so I'd rather keep my channel separate from my personal life as much as possible.

What is the biggest YT goal you hope to achieve?
Believe it or not, my goal for the first year of having a channel was to get at least 1,000 subscribers. Instead, I'll be hitting my one year mark with about 7,000 subscribers! I would've never thought I'd grow that quickly and hope to continue growing even more. If I had to give myself a biggest goal when it comes to my channel, I would say hitting 100,000 subscribers would be pretty incredible. Hopefully I can achieve it someday.

YouTube has become a huge part of my life this past year. When I wasn't making videos, I was thinking of ideas for videos or getting inspiration from other people's videos. It's crazy how much time and energy running your own YouTube channel is and only other YouTubers will truly understand the commitment. It has helped me gain so many useful skills as well like effective search engine optimization, collaboration, and eye-catching design elements. I'm extremely excited for what 2014 will bring my channel (and this blog) and I hope you will all continue tuning in!

If you're a YouTuber, what's your story? If you're a viewer, what else do you want to know about my YouTube experience?